Next Steps

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Now that I am coming to terms with the next version of Jessica I am ready to start looking at what's next. What do I want to do from here? What things have changed that will impact certain areas of my life going forward? I need to sort that out. So I'll do it here!

What am I leaving behind:

  • Belonging to religious groups. This means no involvement in groups where the religious piece is the main focus or determines the goals. This does not mean I can't be in groups with religious people. I just can't be in groups were the group is FOR religious people. Unfortunately this is going to cause me to change areas I volunteer. 
  • Being a leader in a public sense. This means I am not going to head up any committees for a while. I am not going to be the organizer of any causes or groups or teams, for a while. I need to take a step back from all of that while I continue to settle into this change. I may re-enter that realm at some point, but right now I feel the need to step back.
  • I am not going to do extra work at my job in hopes of a promotion in the future. I am going to instead just focus on the job at hand and doing it as well as I can, expecting nothing. I have already seen that promises are empty and used in a way to garner extra effort with a dangling carrot that likely will be replaced with a stick or just vanish entirely. 
What I am embracing:

  • I want to continue my connections with nature. I intend to make time for walks and for gardening. 
  • I want to embrace self care again. With yoga and cleaner eating and making art or writing or knitting or whatever draws my fancy.
  • I will allow myself to learn a new skill and allow myself to learn about whatever I want to learn about without feeling any guilt about it. 
  • I will find comfort in my skin and accept myself for who/what I am.

Where will I focus my effort and energy: 

  • I will give more effort and loving attention to my marriage.
  • I will give more effort and loving attention to my children as they embark on lives of their own.
  • I will give my spare time to organizations and causes I feel do the most good without judgmental strings attached for those in need.
  • I will cultivate the relationships that I feel are good for me and let go of the rest. 
  • I will collect and enjoy things that make me happy. Candles, stones, houseplants, feathers, etc. 
What will I not be concerned with:

  • Being in places with public prayers. I'll still participate without disdain as long as the person praying isn't being all weird. 
  • People who want to practice religions. You do you, boo.
  • The opinions of others in the community. 
I am ready to take control of my own life. To allow myself to be authentic and to live according to what I want instead of feeling obligated to take up the things others would have me do, for their benefit. I'm thinking if I had to have a midlife crisis, this is the kind to have!

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